What do you say to a one-legged hitchiker? Hop in!

What does an agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac do? He lies awake at night, wondering, "Is there a dog?"

How come the alphabet has only 25 letters in December? Noel!

You might be a redneck if your wife has ever said, "Honey, come move this transmission so I can take a bath!"

Please do not throw things at your computer monitor, it will only encourage me!